I'm still young, but I've seen more of life than most 50-year-olds. I have experience I didn't really ask for. I've walked in the darkness for a long time, thinking that there is no light at the end of this path. People would ask: what do you see in your future? And my reply would always be, "nothing".
"Will you go to school to finish your studies?"
"No. I don't think I can do it. Not yet."
I've lost most of my family too, my brother, my dad and mom. Life has been rough, but I'm still walking with my own two feet. How is that? For starters, it was the responsibility of taking care of the cats. There's four of them. And they are the family I mostly have left. A reason to get up from the bed each morning.
Also, I needed to fix my sleeping schedule. For that outside help was required. Throughout the years I've been to a few rehabilitative works for youth and adults. The community in each place has been supportive enough for me to have the needed willpower to go to them. Also, they are a good way of getting things to do in your daily life. I truly appreciate all the help I've received and am thankful even though I haven't really been optimistic.
Another reason that keeps me going is gaming. Through various games, especially roleplaying games, have helped me to get to know myself better. Gaming can be more than just passing of time or fun. You can also meet new people online and make new friends, join up in communities that suit you the best. A gaming community is a really good way to keep your daily rhythm, unless everyone is from different time zones. Then it might be problematic.
Music can also be very empowering. Music is a big part of my life, and I can't live without it. What kind of music do you like listening to? If you have that certain artist or band, then you have something to look forward to in the future. Their next comeback, their next albums. This is a good way to start with small steps to look forward to the future and what good it brings.
So, for years I've pushed my studies thinking that I'm not ready, there's no point. But people around me have shown me that I'm not alone, I'm not the only one, and that I can do it and I am ready. I just needed a small push. Last year I finished my studies and have a job now. And I'm looking forward to starting college this year. Sure, taking a leap towards the unknown is scary, but if I can do it, anyone can. Start with small steps. Taking the first step may be hard, but it's possible and worth it.
In the end you are the master of your life story, and if there's something you want to accomplish, then you most certainly can do it.