Photographer: Danila Sviridov
How do you adapt to short winter days and maintain a balance between work and rest? Can new eating habits help you feel at home in another country? And is it possible to become a little bit Estonian without losing yourself in the process? These and other questions will be answered by the new guest of the Mosaic project — Tom.
Tom was born in the small Belgian town of Genk, located in the Flemish part of the country, where he spent most of his childhood. Later, he moved to the Netherlands, where he studied Hospitality Management for five years and completed internships abroad. After that, Tom decided to start a new chapter of his life in Estonia. He now works as a team lead at the restaurant ISSEI, located in the Radisson Collection hotel building.
We met at the café Must Puudel, not far from the Town Hall Square. Over a cup of coffee, I asked Tom to take me around his favorite spots in the Old Town. We visited the Kohtuotsa and Patkuli viewing platforms and then headed to Toompark, where, after finding a quiet spot overlooking the Shnelli pond, we began our interview. I wanted to know how Tom first learned about Estonia and what attracted him to this country, how his friends and family reacted to his decision to move, and what challenges he faced at the very beginning.
How did you first learn about Estonia?
After my bachelor’s degree in the Netherlands, I was looking for something related to business. When I started looking for programs, I found that there were many unique opportunities in Estonia. That’s also how I first learned about what Estonia has to offer.
I ended up doing a master’s degree that was closely related to management and small companies — basically startups, which Estonia is very famous for. I chose to study at the Estonian Business School, where the business program had a small group of about 20–25 students. If I had done a similar degree in Belgium, I would have been in a much larger group, with 60 to 100 people. So I decided to take a different approach: to come to Estonia and study in a more personal environment, with a lot more group work, business cases, and real-life experiences, rather than just learning from a professor speaking in a lecture hall.
I ended up doing a master’s degree that was closely related to management and small companies — basically startups, which Estonia is very famous for. I chose to study at the Estonian Business School, where the business program had a small group of about 20–25 students. If I had done a similar degree in Belgium, I would have been in a much larger group, with 60 to 100 people. So I decided to take a different approach: to come to Estonia and study in a more personal environment, with a lot more group work, business cases, and real-life experiences, rather than just learning from a professor speaking in a lecture hall.
What especially attracted you to this country?
Mainly the degree, but if we talk about the country itself, of course, it’s a very unique experience here.
You live in a city, but if you drive for 20 minutes — or even less — you’re already surrounded by nature, completely in the forest.
The combination of having a metropolitan area like Tallinn and being able to step outside whenever you want to relax and go into nature. That’s something very unique in Europe.
In Belgium, you can have a somewhat similar experience, but I would say it’s much harder, because everything there is more developed for tourism. In Estonia, however, you have this raw, untouched nature.
In Belgium, you can have a somewhat similar experience, but I would say it’s much harder, because everything there is more developed for tourism. In Estonia, however, you have this raw, untouched nature.
How did your family and friends in Belgium react to this decision?
The reaction from my family and friends was, of course, a surprise at first. My friends were generally very supportive, they didn’t really have concerns. But my family did.
Still, they were supportive — and they continue to be supportive to this day. For them, though, it’s a bit harder. The Netherlands and Belgium are still relatively close to each other, but when you talk about Tallinn and Belgium, the distance becomes quite significant. What used to be just a two- or three-hour drive to see each other is now a two-and-a-half or three-hour flight. It’s not as convenient as just driving over for the weekend.
Still, they were supportive — and they continue to be supportive to this day. For them, though, it’s a bit harder. The Netherlands and Belgium are still relatively close to each other, but when you talk about Tallinn and Belgium, the distance becomes quite significant. What used to be just a two- or three-hour drive to see each other is now a two-and-a-half or three-hour flight. It’s not as convenient as just driving over for the weekend.
Was there anything that surprised you during your first days or weeks after moving? Did you face any challenges?
It’s important to mention that I had been to Estonia before, so it wasn’t really a “first impression”.
But Estonians, by nature, can be quite hard to approach at first, it’s not easy to break that initial barrier with them.
In the beginning, they are not as spontaneous or outgoing with strangers. You really need to get to know them and work your way through that first contact barrier. Once you do, the kind of conversations you can have with them can change completely. I noticed this when meeting new co-workers for the first time, or other students. In general, it’s even harder in public, but if you’re in a co-working space or some kind of shared environment, it’s a bit easier. People there understand that you’ll keep seeing each other and will eventually open up.
But when you meet strangers — like in a new company or just out on the street — it’s very different. In Belgium, it’s normal to start talking to someone in a store. If you try to do the same in Estonia, people will look at you like you’re crazy. So that’s definitely a big difference. And I’ve gotten so used to it that now, when I go back to Belgium and people start talking to me in a store, I’m the one thinking,
But when you meet strangers — like in a new company or just out on the street — it’s very different. In Belgium, it’s normal to start talking to someone in a store. If you try to do the same in Estonia, people will look at you like you’re crazy. So that’s definitely a big difference. And I’ve gotten so used to it that now, when I go back to Belgium and people start talking to me in a store, I’m the one thinking,
“Why are you talking to me?”
So after three years, I’ve kind of absorbed that way of interacting.
What cultural difficulties did you encounter at the very beginning? Do they still remain today?
The biggest difference is not only between Estonian and Belgian culture, but also compared to my experience in the Netherlands, where I lived for five years. People there can be extremely direct — they just say what they think. If someone makes a comment, the other person usually takes it easily;
everyone has kind of a «thick skin» and just laughs it off.
Here, that’s not so accepted. That’s one of the biggest differences. People in Estonia more sensitive to what others think or say about them — also when it comes to opinions. So that’s something I definitely had to get used to. And I think it still remains true today. But my own approach has changed quite a lot over these three years. Also, in my work — since I’m in a leadership position — the way I communicate with my team has completely changed compared to when I first started. Because I noticed how people react.
Do you have a “small ritual” or habit that helps you stay connected to Belgium?
We have our own eating habits, food-wise, and that’s probably what connects me to Belgium the most at the moment. Very stereotypically things like Belgian chocolate, French fries, and our love for sweets and desserts.
Otherwise, family-wise, it’s harder to keep that connection, because the only person in my family who still lives in Belgium is my grandmother — and I visit her at least once a year. That’s definitely one of the main connection points I still have with Belgium. But when it comes to small rituals or traditions, not really. I try to stay connected to my culture, because I’m a food person.
Otherwise, family-wise, it’s harder to keep that connection, because the only person in my family who still lives in Belgium is my grandmother — and I visit her at least once a year. That’s definitely one of the main connection points I still have with Belgium. But when it comes to small rituals or traditions, not really. I try to stay connected to my culture, because I’m a food person.
Would you say that you feel “at home” in Estonia? If yes, what helped you achieve that feeling?
In some ways, yes. And in other ways, it’s not so easy. I’ve noticed that the family part plays a big role in this. Of course, it’s part of moving to another country and living abroad, but it’s still hard to say that I feel the same way in Estonia as I do in Belgium with my family. That kind of connection is something you can’t really replicate with friends.
I think that’s something most expats experience as well.
But in general, I would say yes — definitely. In Estonia, and especially in Tallinn, I do feel at home in the sense that I can genuinely call it home. And what really helps to get to that point are the people around you — the ones you connect with. At first, it’s quite hard, as I mentioned before, but once you break through, you’re naturally invited to different places, parties, and events, and you start meeting new people. Eventually, you kind of build this community around yourself. That’s what really helped me feel at home. Also, connecting with the local food culture played a big role too.
During our walk, Tom pointed to one of the high-rise buildings and said that his workplace is there, adding that he enjoys looking at Tallinn from above. I mentioned that I had never been up in any of them. Hearing that, Tom suggested we visit the restaurant where he works so that I could see the city from there. Of course, I couldn’t refuse such an offer.
We slowly made our way toward the Radisson Collection hotel. As we walked, I asked Tom whether his sense of identity had changed after several years of living abroad, whether there is a difference in how cultural diversity is perceived in Estonia and Belgium, and what, in his opinion, Belgians could learn from Estonians.
How has your understanding of your own cultural identity changed after living here? Was there a moment when you felt: “Now I’m a little bit Estonian”?
I would say it has definitely changed, because no matter what,
if you become an expat or choose to live in another country, you always change your own identity in some way.
You notice it especially when you spend time with other people who have made the same move — their views on certain things usually change completely.
Personally, I’ve noticed that my eating habits are probably a bit more Estonian now than they used to be.
There are things I would have never picked up in a grocery store or ordered in a restaurant before, and now suddenly they’ve become a regular part of my diet.
Also, personality-wise, I think I’ve changed too. Like I mentioned before, when I go back to Belgium now, I notice that I’ve picked up this Estonian trait of being a bit more reserved around new people. But overall, you really do notice those differences.
At the same time, your way of thinking becomes much broader. You start to see things in a bigger picture. When you live in one country, like Belgium, your thought process is more focused, because you assume everyone around you has the same cultural background and experience. But in Estonia, I automatically think in a wider context and take more perspectives into account.
At the same time, your way of thinking becomes much broader. You start to see things in a bigger picture. When you live in one country, like Belgium, your thought process is more focused, because you assume everyone around you has the same cultural background and experience. But in Estonia, I automatically think in a wider context and take more perspectives into account.
Is there a difference in how cultural diversity is perceived in Estonia compared to Belgium?
Yes, it’s a little different. Belgium has historically had much more cultural diversity, it’s much more established. In Estonia, there’s been a huge change even compared to when I first came here. Back then, it was quite difficult for international people to find events or activities to join, and even speaking English wasn’t as common.
Today, Estonia has really put itself more on the map for internationals and people coming from abroad.
You can feel that the whole community has evolved — there are now many more international events held in English, and there’s also greater acceptance from locals toward foreigners. However, among the older generation, people tend to be a bit more reserved in their views about foreigners. What I mean by that is,
when you work in Estonia without speaking Estonian, some people — particularly from the older generation — still expect you to speak the language, no matter how long you’ve been here.
So there’s a bit of pushback, as they want to preserve the Estonian identity and hold on to that part of their culture. On the other hand, the younger generation is extremely open. Almost everyone speaks English and is willing to use it if you can’t speak Estonian.
In Belgium, it’s a bit different when it comes to languages, because we have three official ones. People in Belgium do speak multiple languages and are generally accepting of foreigners — mostly because diversity has been part of society for many generations already. There are fifth or even sixth generations of people who originally came from other countries but now hold Belgian nationality. In Estonia, I feel this is still quite new — most international residents are first or maybe second generation.
In Belgium, it’s a bit different when it comes to languages, because we have three official ones. People in Belgium do speak multiple languages and are generally accepting of foreigners — mostly because diversity has been part of society for many generations already. There are fifth or even sixth generations of people who originally came from other countries but now hold Belgian nationality. In Estonia, I feel this is still quite new — most international residents are first or maybe second generation.
What can be learned from Estonians, and what might Belgians be missing?
I think Estonians have a really good “poker face”.
They are very strong in showing no emotions and using that to their advantage in difficult situations. Belgians, on the other hand, are more emotional in that sense and show that a lot more in casual conversations.
If you had to describe Estonia in three words, what would they be?
Definitely nature — obviously, because it’s so green and diverse. The contrast between city life and nature is so small. Then I’d say cozy, because all Estonian cities are so compact and everyone basically knows each other. Even in the capital, you can walk through the city center and meet several people you know. It’s almost to the point where it can get a little annoying, when you think,
“I’m meeting people randomly on the street again”.
And probably the third one would be cold — obviously because of the winters, with very short days and extremely low temperatures. That’s definitely something I had to get used to. Every year it takes me a couple of weeks to adjust again. It’s a big change compared to Belgium. There, the coldest you can expect is maybe minus six or minus seven in a really bad year. And then you come to Estonia, and it’s minus twenty at night,
that’s a whole different level of cold.
If your life in Estonia were a song, which one would you choose and why?
Probably Supermodel by Måneskin. The reason is that when I started dating my girlfriend, this was one of her favorite songs and it was constantly playing. It still comes up a lot, though a bit less now since it’s an older song, but it’s something that keeps returning. Many moments were accompanied by this song playing. So I’d say it’s one of the songs that, for me, has a strong connection to Estonia.
Imagine your friend from Belgium asks you: “Why should I consider moving to Estonia?” — what would you tell them?
I would probably say that it’s a nice place to live, but at the same time, you need to be aware that
it’s not like moving to New York City.
It’s a very close community in the sense that you can get to know people fairly quickly once you get through the initial phase, when they might be a little suspicious of you. So if your question is, “Why should I move to Estonia?”, I’d say that
if you want a better work-life balance, with more time for family and friends, this is definitely a great place to be.
It’s not such a fast-paced environment, and I feel that in Estonia it’s very easy to relax and take things at your own pace. In other places, it can be hard to escape the constant whirlwind of work, home life, and responsibilities. Here, the environment supports a balanced lifestyle and gives you more freedom of mind and space.
Danila (he/him) is a photographer and beginning journalist. A lover of black-and-white shots and a participant in the Perspectives 2 project, working on themes of cultural identity and self-identification. In his work, he explores how visual images can reflect a person’s inner world and their connection to the surrounding world.
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This material is part of the PERSPECTIVES 2 project – a new label for independent, constructive, and multiperspective journalism. The project is funded by the European Union. The opinions and positions expressed are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the European Union or the European Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA). The European Union and EACEA assume no responsibility for them. Learn more about PERSPECTIVES.
This material is part of the PERSPECTIVES 2 project – a new label for independent, constructive, and multiperspective journalism. The project is funded by the European Union. The opinions and positions expressed are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the European Union or the European Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA). The European Union and EACEA assume no responsibility for them. Learn more about PERSPECTIVES.
